like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
