I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
