As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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