i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
