:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
