hell yes lets make some ravioli
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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