Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
