we're blogging at a bar
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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