Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
