he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
should my penis look like a turkey
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
