You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
