batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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