Porn is love you can see.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
