She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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