every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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