Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
