I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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