just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
