Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Green mimosas i think yes
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
