at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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