hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
