For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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