ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
