apparently the secret to your success is patron
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
