I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
