I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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