So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
