do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
