it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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