I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
