Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
