u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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