If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize