Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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