Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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