even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i've created a new STD.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
