i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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