Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
