6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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