Apparently you make a good broom.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
