8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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