Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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