How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
