I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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