***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
