"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
