Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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(760): View more from California

Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I wish they made helmets for livers.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing

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(224): View more from Illinois

woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training

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(910): View more from North Carolina

FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN

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(209): View more from California

I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on

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(410): View more from Maryland

yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.

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