oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
