MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize