no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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