Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
