I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
