There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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