I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
