yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Someone came in the potted fern
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
