that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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