My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
