I wish I could punch you in the face.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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