my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
