Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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