is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I touched a dick in church today
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
