"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize