There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
