i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
