she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
