Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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